cry
by kalen1
Summary: there's a wish that akane has wished to have done when she has called ryuujin. what is this wish? this is a wish that has made her heart torn into pieces. can there be a resolution in this sadness?


**CRY**

**Author's Notes**: Harukanaru Toki no Naka De is not my property but I would like to have a copy of the complete series (since mine is incomplete), the two OVAs and the recent movie which is the Mai Hitoyo. I wish there would be a happy ending for everyone but I guess we're living in a world of fairy tales only…

* * *

I don't understand why I can't explain what I'm feeling. Ever since I came back to our world, I've been having this feeling of longing that I just couldn't explain. I know that I would definitely miss the people that I met in Kyou but I never thought I'd feel this…no, I can't explain it. I can't even describe what I'm feeling. I should be happy now. The people in Kyou is living in peace, humans living side by side with demons. Everything has settled in the right place. But why is it that my heart seems to be at lost? Why?

Here I go again, standing infront of the well. Tenma and Shimon-kun don't even know that I go back here each day. Even I don't even know why I go back, staring at the vast nothingness of the empty well. Is it because this well, this very well that led me to Kyou, is a reflection of my own heart? There has to be a reason for everything. But I…I just don't know the answer.

Suddenly, the wind blew hard and for the very first time, for countless of times I've been here, I noticed the degraded house nearby. I silently walked towards the wooden house, for the very first time of each day of my visit, changing the course of my visit, as if there is something pulling me towards it. This house…it looks…familiar…

Before I knew it, memories came flashing to my head. Memories of the last days I have spent in Kyou. Moments that I have shared with a certain hachiyou, a certain omyouji.

Yes, I can still remember that time. I don't know why that among all the hachiyou, I had the closest connection with him. I can feel his pain. I know when he's calling out for me. I know when he's getting worried…I know…as if our hearts can speak without the use of any words.

_I'll always remember_

_It was late afternoon_

_It lasted forever_

_And ended too soon_

_You were all by yourself_

_Staring up at a dark gray sky_

_I was changed_

I will never treat him indifferently from the other hachiyou. Why should I? Yasuaki is Yasuaki. He will not be Yasuaki if I'd be comparing him to another person. He won't be the same Yasuaki that I first met in a place similar to this one. A bitter smile cross my face as I bow my head. I can't believe this. I was in the same position when I saw him that day. He was staring at that old house, standing on the same backyard where we first met. For the very first time, I saw him smile. Yes, a genuine smile. I never thought I'd never got a chance to see that smile cross on his face. He has such a beautiful loving face. As I ran towards him, my heart skipped into disoriented beats. I can't explain why. It felt light, warm and comforting. Something that I've only felt when I stared at that loving pair of eyes.

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)_

_It was then that I realized_

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

I always knew that he has a soft side in his cold exterior. I know that ever since. But what happened next is something that I never expected to witness. I felt a tear dropped down to my hand, a situation similar to what happened when we first met. He'd never shown this part in him. I was blessed because I got to see this side of Yasuaki. I'm so glad. No one knew he's suffering inside. Although he won't say it out loud, the worry and the anxiety kept on bothering me that day when he didn't showed up to one of our meetings. He never failed to attend, that's one. I felt his heart breaking. I felt his soul calling out for him, just like whenever I felt unwell or anything, the way he felt the same way I did.

_It was late in september_

_And I've seen you before (and you were)_

_You were always the cold one_

_But i was never that sure_

_You were all by yourself_

_Staring at a dark gray sky_

_I was changed_

Ever since the day of adventure that I had in the lands of Kyou, I feel bothered. It seems as if I am a incomplete person, a part of mine has been taken away from me. Living in this life, I felt something is wrong, something that I've been longing. Why does my heart longs for those days when I was walking down the roads of Kyou? Why does it feel that I'm living a totally meaningless life? I don't understand…

That time when I was talking to Yasuaki infront of a house similar to this one, I know I wanted to hold him. I wanted to embrace him tight to make all the pain he's feeling to go away. But now, it seems I need him by my side, to take away all my pain. It seems selfish in my side to be feeling like this. It was even selfish of me to leave them just like that without saying anything, without saying goodbye. Now, I suffer the consequences of my decision, longing to be by the side of the people I love the most…

_I wanted to hold you_

_I wanted to make it go away_

_I wanted to know you_

_I wanted to make your everything, all right..._

Yes, I know I love him. I just know. But now…this realization won't do me any good. I crumble to my feet as tears started falling from my eyes. I need him. I need him more than anything I could ever want, now or never. But it would just be a tragic wish I knew would never be fulfilled. He's living in a world, much different than the place I am living now. I had already made that wish a long time ago. A wish that if only I could take back, I'd wish I was in his arms, feeling the warmth of his embrace. How stupid can I be?!

_I'll always remember..._

_It was late afternoon..._

_In places no one would find..._

Those things that happened to me are all just part of my memory. Experiences that will forever be just part of my memory. It will forever stay in my heart the love that I had lost in the battle of my heart and mind. A love that I had completely lost due to my wavering heart. How I wish I could take back those time and just hold him till my heart explode without my knowing. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to wipe his tears. I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to be with him. A wish I knew would never be fulfilled…

_In places no one would find_

_All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)_

_It was then that I realized_

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

**END**


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